Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 30 May 2024
As we close May to usher in the “marrying” month of June amid grave threats of a divorce law from Congress, let us reflect on the beautiful aspects of this most wonderful union of man and woman called “marriage”.
For this piece I have based on a previous wedding homily to the younger brother of a good friend, let us reflect on love and respect.
The world owes married couples the finest examples of love and respect. Destroy marriage with divorce, we destroy the very seedbed where everybody learns about love and respect that truly make the “world go round”, a better place to be.
It is in marriage where God plants the earliest seeds of His supernatural gift of love that is why I always insist on this important point first in every wedding I preside: the coming together of every man and woman is a gift from God. It is more than just “liking” the other person or a “trip lang” to get married but a response to a Divine calling every matured man and woman feels deep inside.
Congratulations, Bryan and Catherine!
Our gospel is very clear today with Jesus telling you, “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you” (Jn.15:16). In his infinite wisdom, God had planned this day to happen today, not last year or last month nor tomorrow or next month.
Today the Lord had chosen you Bryan and Catherine to tie the knot as husband and wife in this lovely chapel so you would be his witnesses of his immense love for us. You went through a lot of challenges in your love that is a certified “LDR” – you got me thinking for sometime what those letters mean.
As classmates in elementary until you were separated in high school when Catherine and her family moved, you remained friends. When you pursued your dreams in college, the great distance between UP Los Banos and UST in Espana did not keep you away from each other as friends until you realized you love each other that you became sweethearts.
After graduation, Catherine had to move again with her family and this time, thousands of miles away from you Bryan when there were no free messaging apps yet like Messenger and Viber. Bryan had to make those expensive overseas calls while Catherine had to be patient with the unreliable, cheap call cards bought in Asian and Filipino stores in New Jersey.
Thanks very much to Mark Zuckerberg and you had more time seeing each other in social media that your love deepened through time and distance. But, Facebook did not resolve your main issue at that time.
It was Jesus who moved you both to realize that “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (Jn.15:13).
https://lordmychef.com/2019/05/24/love-and-respect-in-marriage/
Love is more than a feeling; it is a decision, a choice we make and affirm every day. Remember, Marriage or any Sacrament is not everything.
God gives us every grace we need in life to be fulfilled but we have the responsibility to take care and nurture His gifts like love so that we mature and grow deeper as persons in our relationships as well. Ben & Ben said it so well in their song “Araw-Araw”: Mahiwaga pipiliin ka sa araw-araw… Mahiwaga ang nadarama sa yo’y malinaw.
Marriage as a sacrament means it is a sign of Christ’s saving presence in the world. It is a love rooted in God; hence, the need for them to pray and celebrate the Mass always. As couples mature in their love, they soon realize their love for each other is a love for Christ, that whatever they do to each other, they do it first to Jesus. The more they love, the more they see their very elves and each other, most especially God in their married life. To love like Jesus is to love the Cross too, a willingness to sacrifice for the beloved. Absence of this kind of love is a clear red flag to either parties who must try to reassess their relationship before saying “I do”.
Both of you Bryan and Cath sacrificed so much to be finally together, today and forever. Married life is not a competition in love, in seeing who loves most. Husband and wife simply love, love, and love. St. Paul said it so well in our first reading, “live in love as Christ loved us” (Eph.5:2a).
To live in love like Christ is to respect one another.
In our gospel, Jesus said “You are my friends if you do what I command you” (Jn.15:11) which is to love like him, giving up one’s self to your friend.
Bryan and Cath, you are now the bestest of friends. In the word “friend” you find a letter “r” that if you remove it, you get the new word “fiend” or enemy, the exact opposite of friend. That letter “r” in “friend” stands for respect which means in Latin “to see or look again”.
Without respect, any love will not grow. Without respect, love withers and dies. Respect deepens our love because in seeing again, in looking back to our loved ones, we remember our vows to always love.
https://lordmychef.com/2019/05/24/love-and-respect-in-marriage/
How sad respect has become a rarity these days. See how amusing that its Latin root implies looking again, something the pro-divorce are missing these days when they see more of the problems than the persons involved, especially the children.
Love and respect go together. The more love one has, the more respect one has too. The less love one has, the less respect one has too. Is it not the case with this divorce law? How could some even feel less or ashamed when we are one of the few remaining countries in the world where divorce is illegal? Are we not supposed to be proud that we have kept true love alive?
Let me close this piece with the remaining parts of my homily at the wedding of Bryan and Catherine in 2019.
Three things I wish to share with you Bryan and Catherine about respect so you may live in love as the bestest of friends.
First, always look at your very selves, see yourself as the beloved of God.
God makes no mistakes. You are God’s perfect creation as he intended when he created you, Bryan and Catherine. Be proud of who you are even you have lost your hair or have had wrinkles, or gained weight to have so much “love handles” around your waist.
Bryan… Catherine… you are not only one in a million… you are a once in a lifetime.
Catherine, stay true to who you are as a woman. St. Paul never meant in our first reading that the wife must lose her identity in a relationship. Everything and everyone changes for sure, but a healthy marriage will always grow with you and never against you.
When you are apart and not together due to work, always look at each other. Always try to see the other looking at you. That is respect because in that way, you remain faithful to each other and avoid sin.
Second, always look back to your dreams, to your plans and vision in life.
The ideal man finds himself first before he finds his ideal woman, and vice versa. What do I mean? Many people have sights but not all have visions. A visionary is someone who dreams with eyes wide opened. Vision makes us see where we are going and what it will take to get us there. Like the “Mission-Vision” thing you have Bryan in Maynilad.
The moment a man/woman starts to have a vision of himself/herself with a partner in achieving that dream in the future, then he/she has become the ideal husband/wife. When you have a purpose in life and included in that is someone special, even if you have not met him/her yet, then you are the man, you are the woman.
When trials come in your lives Bryan and Catherine, look again into your vision and dreams in life. Start to work for it again with each other, together as one. If you have to start all over again, do so. Together. Pursue your dream and make it come true!
Third, every day, Bryan and Catherine, look again to God. Always see God in your life. Remember the Holy Family how every year they would go to Jerusalem to worship God. When the child Jesus was lost and they could not find him, they went back to Jerusalem and found him in the Temple. Mary and Joseph looked to God to find Jesus and they found him!
When you always look to God Bryan and Catherine, you will also find yourselves and your dreams. In that, you live in love, respecting each other always as gifts from God.
May today be the least happiest day of you life as husband and wife, Bryan and Catherine! Amen.
Please share this with those great couples striving to keep their love, their marriage alive despite the many attacks against this precious gift of God. You may check too my daily blogs of prayers, reflections and homilies, and poetry at http://www.lordmychef.com. Have a great weekend!
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